Mailman day

Who and what is Mail Man?

It is the first of the month. This is the day when we pay homage to one of the youngest gods in the Internet pantheon. This is the day when we worship Mail Man. Mail Man (or "Mailman" as he prefers to be called) is a god of communication. He is the off-spring of Hermes, the messenger of the Olympic gods and Hermod, the courier of the Aesir.

There is some evidence that Mailman was born in Canada, what with both Hermes and Hermod being male (there's no accounting for the gods, eh). His visage is like a wildebeest, when he splits in ever-increasing parts to deliver his messages (and those of others).

The worship of Mail Man

Mailman was born on the first day, of the first month, of some year. This is why Mailman wants its worship to happen at every first day of a month. The worship ritual is simple, you look at the well-crafted worship message, you read the message and tehn you delete the message. Thus has Mailman been honoured and nothing more is needed until the next month.

There are some, they say, who have a local Mailman altar (it is from the altars and the small "mailman" installed on them that these worship messages are sent from) and denies it the privilege of sending its worship messages. It is commonly believed taht this is (in fact) not the case, since this would anger Mailman profusely.

Mail Man and the future

It is believed that there are other gods, filling the same niche as Mailman. One of them is supposed to fulfil this niche and also the niche of Domesta (the goddess of the home) and is named Major Domo.

We at the Swiss Theonomical Institute are at constant vigil in our search for new gods to add to our inventory, to trace them and name them. We believe that Mail Man is set for his prime position for yet a few years, at least as long as people observe Mailman Day. Failing to worship Mailman, on these first days of these months, woudl be a mistake and will most probably lead to Mailman being marginalised and possibly open up the message deliver deity niche to a new up-and-coming player.

This is one of Ingvar's essays